So Much For Promises

    Yes, I had promised to keep this blog updated. No, I did not keep it updated. I am very ashamed of myself. However, I am here to make amends.
     First off: When you update your Blogger profile, you can generate a random question to answer. The below paragraph is my response to one such question, but my answer surpassed the word limit and wouldn't allow me to save it, so I decided to post it for your amusement.  
Random Question: Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?    
    You know, many people have asked me if I believe that forks evolved from their admitted distant relatives, the spoons. I believe that forks are an entirely different species; however, when they get together with a spoon, a spork is created. Think horse...donkey...mule. Sporks don't mate. Just their parents. It is known that all species evolved from one common piece of silverware: the caveman hands. As their brains adapted, cavemen created stick- and stone-ware. They were still very greedy and often threw their stick- and stone-ware at each other, hence the "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" saying. They had no insults due to the small size of their brain. Unfortunately, the phrase is not true because words hurt in places that sticks and stones could never reach. Therefore, I have reason to conclude that spoons and forks are nothing more than pieces of silverware that are attracted to each other. For more information, you can read my new bestseller, "Curves and Spikes: A Memoir of Modern Silverware."
    Ach! My blog is acting up again (the font does not obey me). I'll fix it (or attempt to) and will perhaps do a book review if I can figure out why my blog won't shrink down pictures.